Apr 25, 2013 | xkcd.com, thefunniest.info, Happy Place
Most of these signs were designed to help people — to get where they're going, to find a pet, to avoid grievous bodily harm — and yet some writing-utensil-wielding wiseasses felt compelled to come along and totally deface them. We're so glad they did. Does that mean we value a wry sense of humor or even just a lazy reference to an outdated song over the safety of our fellow human beings? We're insulted you would even ask. Of course we do.
Maybe these kids will look back on this and laugh once they're old enough to realize what the hell they were saying. Some of them seem brutally honest, while others just appear to have a tenuous grasp of the English language. Obviously, the latter half are our future politicians.
The child is one of us now.
As hard as shopping malls try to make "going to see the Easter Bunny" a thing, it's never quite caught on like visiting Santa Claus. Maybe that's because Christmas is a magical celebration of materialistic greed and gluttony while the closest thing to "fun" about Easter is showing off your new pair of church slacks — or maybe it's because every Easter Bunny costume is a walking nightmare of soul-scarring horror. Here are some examples of why the image of a bleeding, emaciated guy on a cross rising from the grave is somehow not the most traumatizing thing about this holiday.
Dogs have patience, human dogs less so.
At this point there isn't a moment of human experience that isn't photographed and instantly uploaded to Facebook for all to share. Life is contained in the Facebook photo albums now, so when you comment on a Facebook photo you're essentially commenting on life itself. You can choose to resignedly click "Like" on life like so many over-medicated cult members who are lying to themselves. Or you can do like the commenters gathered here, who deserve awards for their attention to detail and their willingness to turn a glimpse of another person's existence into something we can all laugh at.
Some people say Americans' love of suing the crap out of each other is a bad thing, but if it wasn't for that litigious spirit our warning signs and product disclaimers would be far less entertaining. No matter how ridiculous they may seem, remember that at some point in time, someone did something to make each of these signs necessary.
You mean besides cut-up chickens, pigs, cows, and probably horses if this is Europe?
Adults are basically just children who've grown fat, watched their dreams die, and learned to shrink from confrontation. So it follows that the modern workplace is just as petty and territorial as your typical elementary school playground, except there's a lot less spitting and hair-pulling, and a lot more bitchy note-writing. The most successful workplace notes strive to entertain just as much as they impolitely advise and chastise, and the notes collected here are some of the best of the medium.
Parents who were previously limited to humiliating, berating, and otherwise damaging their children in person have discovered they can do so in front of a much larger group of people on Facebook. The obvious lesson here is never, ever accept your mom or dad's friend request — they may not even notice. And God help anyone whose parents find out about Twitter. Let us know in the comments of any others you see around the Web!
"THAT'S BLASPHEMY! MARY ONLY HAD SEX WITH GOD OUTSIDE OF HER MARRIAGE!"
Political protests are always a little more fun when the protesters are a little more fabulous. No matter how the Supreme Court rules on the issue this time around, popular opinion has shifted enough that the writing appears to be on the wall for opponents of marriage equality. That's a little bittersweet, since the writing on these pro-gay marriage protest signs is entertaining enough that we're definitely going to miss them when the battle is finally over nationwide.
Will this lion be in attendance? Because he seems nice.
While the earth's population continues to grow, humans are forced to live in ever closer proximity to each other, pissing each other off in new and disgusting ways. The neighbor note is the most effective medium to alert your neighbors to the myriad ways in which their way of life is destroying yours. So if you're going to leave one yourself and want to make sure your neighbors pay heed, take a cue from these authors and unload on that piece of paper with both barrels.